Perfectionism

A fast track to unhappiness.

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For perfectionists, life is an endless report card on accomplishments or looks.

Perfectionism is a fast track to discontentment, and it is often accompanied by depression as well as eating disorders. While those in the grip of perfectionism desire success, they are usually most focused on avoiding failure. This gives perfectionists a negative orientation, which is what makes perfectionism so toxic. Luckily, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and mindfulness therapy can be extremely helpful to perfectionists.

What Causes Perfectionism?

What Causes Perfectionism?

Perfectionism is driven primarily by internal pressures, such as the desire to avoid failure or harsh judgment. There is likely a social component as well – because perfectionistic tendencies have increased substantially among young people over the past 30 years, regardless of gender or culture. Greater academic and professional competition is thought to play a role, along with the pervasive presence of social media and the harmful social comparisons it elicits.

Perfectionists set unrealistically high expectations for themselves and others. They are quick to find fault and overly critical of mistakes. They tend to procrastinate a project out of their fear of failure. They shrug off compliments and forget to celebrate their success. Instead, they look to specific people in their life for approval and validation.

Overcoming Perfectionism Depression

Whether you live in New York City or elsewhere, it’s easy to feel the stress derived from family, work, and a relationship. You feel as though you should always perform at your peak. While striving for higher goals is not a standard you should avoid, there are ways to achieve them without sacrificing your physical and mental health

Since there is a strong correlation between perfectionism and depression, learning how to cope with failure is a huge component of treating the maladaptive perfectionist attitude. People that are prone to maladaptive perfectionism are easily set back if circumstances don’t go their way. They constantly try to find ways to feel good, but in the end, they are eventually forced to face reality. 

This behavior can be extremely challenging for couples, while even if the person dealing with maladaptive perfectionism may not hold their partner up to the same standards they hold themselves. For the partner, the resulting behavior can be daunting to see and manage, if their loved one fails to achieve their impossible goal. By seeking help from a perfectionism therapist in NYC, you can eventually change your world outlook and begin setting realistic and attainable goals.

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